watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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