i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
