Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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