I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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