I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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