Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
