he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
