Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
