i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
