Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
