is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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