She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
