Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
foreskin is a definite game changer
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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