Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we made out on top of his cat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
