Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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