i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
