Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize