What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
