We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize