I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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