he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
