Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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