Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
