and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pants are for mortals
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize