I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Bring me that man meat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize