Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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