i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
