Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i came on her dog
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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