Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
