who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
