I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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