what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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