I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
