her vagine was all disorganized.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
