You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
