Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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