Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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