I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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