Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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