So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
