My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
