smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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