so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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