i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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