Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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