dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
