I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
