doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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