Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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