In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
