you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
