She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
