Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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