It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
