you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
