Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
