you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
